After looking at the facts in Step 2 and determining where you stand, sit down and think about what YOU really want.
Ever heard of a clear visioning session? Or a vision board?
Make a list or collect images of the things you currently want from life.
But let me repeat: Think of what YOU want – things based SOLELY on you, not on anyone else’s lives, goals, happiness, or well-being.
Grab some sticky notes, and do a brain dump.
On each sticky note, write a life goal without considering what is “possible” or “realistic.” If you could live in anyway or have anything in the world, what would it be?
Here are some prompt questions to get your thoughts flowing:
- What is most important to you? Family? Profession? Money? Peace?
- What goals do you really want out of life?
- What makes you happy?
- When you think of your perfect life, what does that include? A house? A family? Working remotely? Traveling?
- What do you value in life? Family? Volunteerism? Knowledge?
When you’ve finished brain-dumping, divide your sticky notes into categories, such as personal, professional, inner peace, experiences, way of living, etc.
Then, look at each group and develop a plan to make it happen – piece by piece, step by step. It can be overwhelming to do this all at once, so if you need, spread this process out over a week or two. My recommendation would be to construct your vision board, and then develop a plan a topic at a time. (You may also find what you want isn’t that hard to get!)
Next, define each plan not as a hopeful dream, but as a reality – this is what’s going to happen, not what might happen.
One of my favorite terms is “Positive Visualization.” Many times, I’ve experienced simply visualizing and believing will make something happen!
Personally, after over two years of marital separation and life evaluation, I’m still trying to figure things out. (It’s not a light bulb. It doesn’t have a switch. And it may require several vision boards.)
Moreover, as we experience new chapters in life, our desires may change, which can be confusing. Something that was once important, may not be anymore. And somethings you never considered important, my find their way to the top of your list. Additionally, some things you’ve always wanted may re-surface, and this is your opportunity to take those goals more seriously!
Here are some things I’ve personally figured out or come to peace with:
- I know I want to be the top priority of my significant other if I decide to have one. (And visa versa.)
- I know, for the first time in my life, I’m comfortable with myself – the good, the bad, and the ugly.
- I know I’m a dreamer.
- I recognize I used to be a fart-in-a-skillet, that my desires used to, in a way, change from day to day. (Probably because I was subconsciously trying to appease someone else’s goals while also finding room for my own.)
- I know I want an unconventional life. No 9-to-5 cubical for me. Life’s too short.
- I know I’ve defined my own little bubble, and no one is allowed in if they don’t fit.
- I’ve given myself permission not to be perfect and to not feel guilty when I mess up.
These days, because I’m focusing on only my life goals, things are becoming more clear.
I’ve also learned I had to figure out who I really am to know what my goals really are.
So really think about it… What do you want?
I really believe, if you define that along with who you really are, you’ll lay the groundwork for a strong, enjoyable path to happiness and peace.
Now… In the words of the Black-Eyed Peas, “Let’s get it started!”